On Tattoos 🎨

I am excited to bring you a blog post by a guest author for the very first time!! I was so interested upon hearing this perspective in a conversation that I immediately asked my friend Frances to write an article explaining it. To me it represents a very middle of the road and sensible approach to this issue. Enjoy!

As long as I can remember I was always infatuated with tattoos. I come from an Irish Catholic family on the South Side of Chicago and my grandparents were both straight off the boat, Conservative Irish Catholics. My Grandmother told me when I was a little girl ( I have no idea how old I was and in fact honestly have no recollection of this) I said very matter of factly “Grandma, I’m going to get a tattoo.” She was so upset she cried in her thick Irish accent: “I’ll tattoo your arse!”

Despite Grandma’s discouragement, I started getting tattoos as soon as I entered middle school. The first one was done by letting a friend give me a “pick and poke” tattoo. All my earliest tattoos were terrible. I was happy with them because it was what I always wanted and I didn’t know how bad they were until I started to see really good ones.

Before 18 I had about 5 tattoos in very visible places. Thankfully I enrolled in cosmetology school at the age of 17 so I was in the safe zone as far as future employers.

I was asked to write a blog on a conversation a friend and I had on my tattoos and how I still appreciate the art but I think it’s so important to have a career lined up before getting them (especially as visible as mine are).

Early in my career I noticed how I was constantly judged by mainly the older clientele. To a certain extent I would lose their respect before I was able to introduce myself to them and shake their hand to show them back to my chair. Many of them would tell me how pretty I am and they don’t understand why I would ruin my body, after all I’d be so much prettier without all those things. I didn’t care what anyone thought of me until I decided being behind the chair working in someone else’s salon wasn’t good enough for me, it wasn’t enough, and I wanted more. I knew in order for the most successful people to respect me upon first impression I’d have to tone it down a bit. How could I do this? By now I’m almost 30 I’m covered, and I even have 2 face tattoos. Fortunately, by this time tattoos had caught up culture wise. Everyone told me and continues to tell me I wear them so well though and they’re so accepted within my industry. It almost makes you appear more creative some would argue. However, from the negative feedback I received from my family and clients early on (before I made a name for myself) I struggled with a lot of self limiting beliefs. I have come to a place in my life now where I’ve built an empire (barbershop of my own and a hell of a reputation). To this day even as me being owner of such a succeshop, I get judgement. But I don’t let it bother me like it used to early on in my career, feeling judged and uncomfortable in my own skin.

While speaking to a girl friend on tattoos and the importance of having a solid career before making such a decision, I was asked to share what we touched on. As we all know, tattoos have gone from being taboo, especially with women, to it being a modern trend and appreciated art (by some). Even with the changes in time and culture, if you don’t have a career you’re sure of, I would not recommend making such a decision. My tattoos have limited me early on in my career (as a barber/hairstylist). I was denied management opportunities. After being hired my boss told me the owner didn’t want to hire me based on my profile picture and the amount of tattoos I had. She pushed for me to get hired on and, to their surprise, I was their top performer in sales in the nation.

Long story short, though I held top 5 in sales consistently in the nation, my employer refused to promote me due to my tattoos. I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts like the other girls ever though we live in Florida and in the very beginning they made me wear long sleeves.

I’ve come a long way. These days my tattoos may turn a head or two and I get an occasional sneer, but as far as my career and advancing in life, I don’t believe they’re an issue due to my reputation today. I’m still in the process of removing my faces tattoos as I have simply outgrown them and I feel it takes away from my natural beauty.

If you’re interested in tattoos I recommend figuring out a solid career and being sure you want that career and that they accept tattoos. Then, by all means go for it. Otherwise you’ll be regretting it and may find yourself limited to options in your career choices.

Editor’s Note: To look her up & take advantage of her barbering skills, check her out here! Thanks for your post, Frances! 💗🙏🏻

https://m.facebook.com/francesscissorhandsbarbershop

a little about a LOT

I love this podcast where one of my favorite commentators, Ben Shapiro, calls out the reliance upon an elite expert class. Shapiro is always so wise and witty.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0lkPW2R35RUv1EDpCvAZbi?si=93CL-7P2TASClr0E2AciKA

When I left my full time legal career to stay at home with my first baby which turned into five babies over the next 7 years, I began a once a month event in my home that I called a little about a LOT. The purpose of these little social hours coupled with a brief seminar was to draw upon the “experts” from various fields in my life to share a snippet of information with my attendees so that we could learn a little about a lot of different subjects. The subject matters covered estate planning (my area of “expertise” at the time), hiring, vacation planning, financial planning, among others.

Dennis Prager, another favorite commentator, began Prager U to condense topics into 5 minute videos on various topics from history to the economy to male-female relationships.

https://www.prageru.com/

I also love Hillsdale College which provides both its Imprimus newsletter and catalogue of online classes which mirror real college courses and are given by college professors, completely free of charge. https://www.hillsdale.edu/

All of these are examples of how we can become what I think our Founding Fathers were, Renaissance people apprised on a wide variety of topics. They were lawyers, doctors, ministers, farmers, merchants or other businessmen. What they were not was career politicians.

We have become so narrow and specialized in our modern world. Specialization has its place but we do not want to become boring, only being conversation isn’t in one topic or set of ideas. (You can tell these people because they speak in acronyms whether their listener understands or not, so surrounded are they by others from their small field.)

On Being Moved

This might strike you as a weird post but give it a chance….

I grew up under the tutelage of a mother who had come to Jesus during the “Jesus Freak” years of the 70’s. Some hippies were into the druggie scene, others were into the Jesus movement.

My Mom, late now, would tell us the story of how she was in her home one day when I was about 2. She had a plumber come to the house. She was feeling lost, had eve tried to commit suicide before I was born. The plumber proceeded to tell her it was no coincidence he was there and invited her to church. From then on my Mom was a devout fundamentalist, all-in Christian. We attended very charismatic churches through my youth, where the parishioners would speak in tongues and people would be “slain in the Spirit.” If you have watched the tv evangelists, that is the part where people fall down onto the floor.

All of this left me with a cringy feeling that led me to a more conservative version of Christianity in my adulthood.

But what I want to convey here is that I do believe there is a place and time when the Spirit of God can be tangible. Not every Sunday in my experience, rather few and far between.

However, when I stood in a humble little church in the middle of Kenya worshipping with that loving congregation, singing out to Jesus, tears began to roll uncontrollably down this very together and non-crier girl’s face. I was moved.

Today when I listened to a sermon on the prophecy that George Washington was said to have received from an Angel, I was moved to tears.

I am no authority but I feel there are moments when we can experience the close presence of the Spirit of God. You can feel it as it moves you even if you are not a very emotionally tuned person. You don’t have to drum it up. It comes upon you.

You don’t have to look for these moments but I think we should be open to them and not resist if they do come to us.

Spirit of God, fall fresh on us.

Encouragement 🤗

I feel so encouraged when I hear women appreciate my blog or related posts elsewhere. I have received so many demands from the narcissist in my life to shut down my blog and at times he has ganged up with the system to hamstring me into limiting what I want to share to help other woman. But when I hear women being helped I know I am right not to limit my voice.

The truth is I lived under that oppressiveness that clouded my light, refused to let me shine lest I shine brighter, kept me small and hushed my voice for too many years. If we were out and I let myself freely dance because I was happy I would be severely scolded once back home. If I joined coworkers in celebrating someone’s many years of practice, toasting with champagne, I would be shamed in the morning in front of my children. If I wore something pretty because I felt fit after working hard exercising after my last baby I was accused of just wanting attention. If I tried to make friendships in a new land my attempts were met with suspicion. If I wanted to extend a hand of generosity on a street corner I was cornered and shoved against a building and accused of horrible acts.

No more. I will shine my light. I will live out my potential. I will share what might benefit one or many. I will live my life freely as God made me to. God gave me this life and if anyone wants to push me down again he’s gonna have to go through my Creator first.

Designs That Probably Could Have Been Improved By Now

The cinnamon & biscuit roll refrigerated packages that you need to poke with a spoon to open…

Extremely heavy baby carrier car seats …just what moms need after delivering that baby …we’ve invented lighter weight metals for planes & rockets…how about a nod to moms?

The snap on coffee lid…nothing starts the day like hoping you got that on securely as you are risking boiling liquid pouring over you if you didn’t…

Eye & lip liner pencils that work great until they require sharpening and basically have to be thrown away after unless you want to rip open your lid or lip with that rough piece that never goes away no matter how much you sharpen…

What are yours?

Colorado Adventure Camp

I am a planner professionally but …or maybe because of that…I don’t always plan too far ahead when my family travels. We like adventure and sometimes I plan things spur of the moment. I might make the main plans ahead of time, such as plane or lodging reservations, but then schedule other activities in more last minute.

On a recent, mostly work related, trip to Colorado I brought my two youngest along with me. I registered them for the local County day camp during for the week so they’d be occupied while I worked.

We arrived the weekend before for a class I needed to take. I hired a friend’s daughter who is a college student home on break to entertain them during the day and they had an awesome time exploring the local museums and ice cream shop.

Then we headed up to the mountains. We were supposed to stay with friends but those plans fell through last minute so I quickly found a “mud season”‘reasonable alternative. We headed up, popped into the local Whole Foods for provisions and then to our accommodations. We were in Breckenridge, a wonderful historic town only about an hour and a half from Denver (even on a Friday evening…but of course it was off season, mid June). They were a bit outdated but serviceable and convenient to local attractions.

The girls had made some noise about horseback riding and also seemed excited about rafting when they saw some people doing just that on the river on the way up.

One of my daughters who had accompanied me to Colorado for skiing earlier in the year was adamant about skiing but I had to convince her while there would still be Some snow there would not be enough for skiing.

In the morning (I get up early ….if you have five kids and run your own business and ever want time to yourself you will too) I looked up a horseback riding option – Breck Stables stood out – and I went with it. Reserved our 1 1/2 hour trail ride. It was a bit expensive but totally worth it! We each got our own horses and had a great ride. Some parts were a bit hairy – perched on our horses’ backs up on a ridge with a significant drop off to either side.

After our lovely ride we had to stop to play in the snow (explanation: we used to live in Colorado but now reside in Florida). Then we stopped in town to play in the creek and then had lunch and beer (for me) at Ollie’s which is in the middle in the river.

Then home for a nice nap. As soon as I wake my daughter says “finally you are awake can we hike?!” So we headed back to the mountain and hiked along one of the ski slope paths. We saw a lot of dogs which made my girls super happy.

We headed home to clean up and then we jumped on the local free bus which, instead of taking us into town as we’d hoped, gave us a tour of where the locals live. We finally got off and walked up Main St., then hopped on another bus for home.

The next morning I was up super early again and decided why not YOLO we are going rafting! So I made a reservation with Rocky Mountain Whitewater Rafting in Idaho Springs. Less expensive than horseback riding, and equally as thrilling. Also well worth the money!

So if you are looking for family adventure check out theses two providers.

Summer! 🍉🏖☀️

It’s summer and you need to stock up on popsicles!

Here is my popsicle mom hack.

For whatever reason my kids have always preferred the popsicle version of a smoothie so when I have extra smoothie in the blender I pour the rest into any of my various popsicle molds (some pictured, others push up variety) & stick in the freezer.

Healthy so Mom is happy. Tasty so kids are too!

Stay tuned for smoothie recipes that you can use for popsicles!

The Hail Mary 📿🙏🏻

I grew up in a household with a mother who had left the Catholic faith after attending Catholic all her years. She was attracted by the Jesus movement of the 1970’s, trending toward a more fundamentalist, charismatic, experiential based expression of the Christian faith. I was taught that we should avoid rote prayers and make up our own, initiating a conversation with God in an effort to develop a personal relationship with Christ.

These thoughts formed my religious foundation but as I grew into an adult I sought to explore more traditional avenues of my faith. Eventually I became confirmed as a Catholic. I now embrace it as well as many of the practices with which I grew up. The Catholic faith practice includes many established prayers. One of these is the Hail Mary, a short but sweet prayer to…or as I see it…through…the Mother of Jesus, basically beseeching her to intercede for us. The rosary is a repetition of this prayer interspersed with others including the well known Our Father that create a meditative effect which can be very soothing.

I have found this prayer a great comfort, especially at times when the weight of life and it’s sorrows is so great that it stymies our ability to express our own needs for help, guidance, and comfort. One such time was while my mother lay dying in Hospice. Another recent time I drew upon the comfort of this prayer was when my teenage son was having a particularly challenging day. I repeated this prayer to give me strength and calm as I drove us to an appointment.

Life has many challenging moments and I like to have a full toolkit to address them. This is one of my many that I have found useful at the most trying moments. I hope you will too.

Find it here: vaticannews.va.🙏🏻📿✝️

I also recently started listening to two podcasts on Spotify. One is a commuter rosary and one is led by Bishop Barron. I’ve incorporated both into my daily routine. Find them here.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7DaRJY9ticqmNEaiRzoRyK?si=rSshUoqbRju9SdZno2hIsQ

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5V2rImzxEGbdugiqnzTsE3?si=tYyU7nB4TOirffw2zNVltQ&context=spotify%3Ashow%3A0aWJbTYTENolXYpBDSgzcH

Why I’m Happy I Threw My Son’s Phone in the Lake 💦📲

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Having a house full of teenagers is Really not for the faint of heart. It can drive you to the brink of madness. One minute they are pushing you away. The next they are needy and demanding of your time and presence. You never see them when you’re all at home but as soon as you dare to leave the house for a moment they are texting or calling demanding to know where you are & what time you’ll be back.

And sometimes things get extreme. My middle school son began to withdraw from the family and refuse to eat anything I made for meals (though he’d snack like a boss). A very able kid, his academic performance began to decline. I tried many things but was really at a loss.

One evening things came to a head in a power struggle, a battle of our wills. (Unfortunately you can no longer scoop the teenager up & place them into their car seat. That is the main difference between the toddler and teenager tantrum. Size. That’s it. In most other respects they are the same.) I hadn’t planned it and obviously it is not recommended by parenting books or sites, but by the end of the engagement the phone has ended up in the lake behind my house (or somewhere thereabouts in the swampy grass …I’ve never claimed to have a great throwing arm). Was this the best course of action? It certainly brought on a slew of more anger from son. And was obviously not the best economic decision.

But boy am I glad I did it. It took a few days, and we sought out some professional counseling, but now suddenly he is laughing and joking with his brothers and sisters, doing his schoolwork, playing outside and eating again! I think he needed to hear the counselors affirm that mom is in charge and that if mom feels she needs to take the phone she will.

So…not recommending necessarily as a first course of action but sometimes extreme situations call for extend solutions. Things could not have gone on as they were. Something needed to break the log jam. But, honestly, if I had known the outcome would be so positive I would have done it a long time ago. Phones cause such a battle. But I think we had to get to this point. Bottom line: to me, the cost of a lost phone is worth it to save my son’s heart, family relationships and sense of self. And I think he knows I mean it, that I really do what I say and that I really care about him. Extremely.