It seems that since brothels have closed and prostitution become generally illegal in most parts, this has had the effect of pushing these men who would frequent these into the general dating pool and now they expect all women to behave in this manner, all while presenting themselves as in search of a long term relationship.
More Hurricane Ruminations
Hurricanes give you ample time for rumination. Here are my thoughts:
Is Florida habitable anymore? I have lived in Naples almost 10 years. I lived in Denver previously (originally from Michigan). My former husband who is the one whose original idea it was to transplant claims the hurricanes are no different from blizzards. But they are. Here’s why.
With hurricanes you have so much time to prepare. It takes time. It is expensive. In a nonevent which is a good thing it is all for naught. In the other situation of loss or damage it is not sufficient, no matter what. Not sure what the middle ground is.
Hurricanes are extremely disruptive of life. This includes work, school and life in general. We have had two hurricanes within the last month and the kids have missed over a full week of school.
But they are not just disruptive to the regular course and rhythm of life. They are also negative for mental health. Waiting for the hurricane today, rounded by my family, cooking, reminded me of the “pandemic” shutdown, so much uncertainty and anxiety. You feel exhausted with all the preparations and concerns and mixed reports in the media.
Yes, blizzards can also be disruptive, but they are a bit more predictable. The only questions are how many inches over what period of time. With hurricanes there are so many factors, always changing into the moment it hits, where, how strong, wind focused or flood focused. It is challenging to prepare for every eventuality.
One of the main fallouts from a hurricane is the loss of power. During hurricane season it is typically hot and humid. This leads to discomfort and mold.
One positive…at least after a hurricane you can take a shower and not freeze. It is actually refreshing to take a lukewarm shower.
So with the hurricanes becoming stronger and more frequent does it make sense to continue to try to live in Florida? You rebuild every season just to have destruction again. You begin to realize why things are built the way they are in the Caribbean.
More on Hurricanes: Hurricane Prep
Here I am today to bring you an episode titled MMK on Hurricane Prep. I consider myself semi qualified having endured two official hurricanes during my residence in Florida (Irma, 2017 and Ian, 2022) and innumerable hurricane scares and tropical storms. So here it is.
Let me put this caveat out there first of all….i live 10 minutes inland and my current house has been proven hurricane proof in Ian. Of course each hurricane is different but I prepare based on what I know.
When it is clear that a hurricane is imminent…and not being a weather watcher I usually find out once my colleagues start discussing it…and once the county starts to cancel school and businesses start to close, I begin my hurricane mode prepping. Here is how I do it:
I make sure my car is gassed because sometimes after a hurricane it is really hard to find available gas. Today my car was half full and I figured that was good enough since I plan to shelter in place because I have pet’s and also believe we have a high likelihood of being unaffected. Still…
I just shopped so we have plenty of food, both perishable and non perishable. But I made dinner and sometimes I will bake or cook extra so we can have home cooked rather than boxed food. Tonight I made tacos. When prepping you have to balance because you don’t want to have too many perishables on hand.
This brings me to addressing what the potential dangers are. I consider the likelihoods damage to property, loss of power and loss of connectivity.
I addressed the potential damage to property by moving some things around in my garage to fit my SUV in since I typically park in the drive.
You should also bring in any furniture on your lanai. I only have two light chairs so I left these.
Last time we lost connectivity but not power. So it is a good idea to download anything you need. For example I downloaded documents I needed so I’d be able to work offline. This gives you something to do also.
As far as power, there is much more to consider. If you have a propane grill as I do you will be able to warm your food regardless.
I make extra coffee in my electric pot so I can heat it on the grill or drink it cold.
It’s also a good idea to do your laundry, run your dishwasher and blow dry your hair while the power is on.
It’s a good idea to have paper products on hand. If you can’t wash your dishes it’s easier to use paper plates and bowls.
I fill my cooler with some ice so I can put drinks or fridge or freezer items in.
Stick up on your vices. Mine is wine so I make sure I have some on hand.
You should also make sure all your devices and battery packs are fully charged.
Make sure your furry friends have food and give your pup a nice walk before.
Have your raincoat and boots handy.
Finally you should fill the bathtub. I haven’t needed it but this way you can use that water to flush your toilets.
As far as water goes I have a Berkey filter I use daily so we always have a fresh source. Sometimes you have a boil water notice after a hurricane but a good filter will be as good I believe.
We also regularly keep a well stocked apothecary with all kinds of remedies.
Basically preparing for a hurricane is not all that different from preparing for any natural disaster except that you have a bit more notice.
Other add-ons are to keep your important documents handy in a waterproof container and if you are concerned about protection to keep personal safety provisions on hand. Looting is a reality.
Watch the tv while you can!
Stay dry friends and good luck! Hope my practical tips helped.💦
On Feeding Highschoolers
It’s taken me a while to get into the swing of public school … six years exactly ☺️Before that we were a crazy, weird homeschool family. Just kidding. I loved every minute of spending that time with my kids when they were young, all the field trips and hands on learning. Then we moved and entered a new school system without the benefit of the kindergarten on up learning curve. My youngest of five was kindergarten, the others were 2nd grade, 3rd grade, 5th grade and middle school. I have stumbled along the way since then, with figuring out everything from the bus schedule to sports signup (and remembering to get the paperwork at the annual physical!) to lunch and everything in between.
Not to jinx it but this year with my three highschoolers, one of whom drives the others, it has been easy breezy so far, one month in, knock on the proverbial wood!
This is how we do it. I try to wake up a little before them, by 5:30 or 5:45. Their start time is 7:10 and we live just a few minutes down the road from the school. My freshman daughter always wakes herself up right around then. The boys take a bit more effort but I go in for the first time at 6:00.
Once I’m dressed in my work out clothes and have my “eyes” in and teeth brushed I go downstairs, give treats to our pets, and start the coffee but some days I get the breakfast and lunches made without taking my first sip, I don’t know how!
I have found it helps tremendously to have a plan. Rocket science, I know!
Forget everything you’ve learned about making them independent. By high school they are fiercely independent and fairly responsible themselves so what they’ll let you do for them take full advantage. Two of mine let me make their breakfast and lunch. Everyday I make the same breakfast for all with some modification based on their known preferences. By example my “menu” (using the term loosely since it is really just my notes chalked up on our fridge white board) this week included breakfast burritos, pumpkin oatmeal and waffles. But some days it is cereal or smoothies. This helps me get on track and right down to work (remember I said the coffee hasn’t finished brewing yet?!). I serve the breakfast whole waiting for them to finish their various degrees of readying (as you can imagine this varies vastly from the boys to the girl!). And I start on the lunches. For these I don’t have a pre planned “menu” like breakfast and dinner but I have stocked the fridges with a variety of lunch meat, sandwich bread, fruit and other lunch items. I make my kids m the same sandwich as one another each day. So today was PB&J for both. Yesterday was turkey and swiss. I throw in a fruit, chips and always include some extra snacks for their after school sports practice.
And then they’re off. And good thing I got the hang of it before they’re actually off (to college!) next year for my senior and soon thereafter for the others.
And when they’re gone it’s time for exercise, walking the dog & coffee. Lots of coffee please! ☕️
Our Kids
Today I was thinking on the issue of so many kids having issues in school, with ADHD, autism, sensory issues, allergies, and every condition in between. In essence, having a student with issues in the school system has basically become the norm.
At first I hypothesized in my conspiratorially minded way that the parents, and teachers or administrators to an extent, may be incentivized to seek a diagnoses. In general it can be tempting to seek a medical diagnosis because it feels good to have a reason for behavioral issues. It provides us a sense of comfort to rely on the medical establishment (doctor knows best) to support us in the unknown frontier of parenting.
Then I watched a Tucker Carlson interview of a brother and sister duo with very prestigious medical credentials who have produced a book (which I cannot find for sale anywhere because I assume it has been buried by the establishment). In the interview they discuss how there is huge incentive in society to produce a culture of chronic illness (physical and mental) that can then be treated throughout a patient’s lifetime by the myriad of pharmaceuticals on the market (watched tv with ads lately?). There is literally a drug cure for Any condition from, including all the side effects caused by other pharmaceuticals.
Maybe I sound conspiratorial but take a look around. Americans are fatter, sicker and more suicidal than ever.
My Secrets
People always ask how I can look so good after having 5 kids. Mostly I owe this to good genes. My Mom gave me beautiful skin. From my Dad I inherited a zest for life and positive, adventurous outlook, longevity genes and sun hardy skin. But aside from that here are my daily tips.
A little …okay…8 “cups” (according to the coffee maker of organic coffee (with cinnamon and ginger and ashwaganda and moringa powder stirred in)
A whole lot of Jesus
Walk in the sun every day.
Visit the beach once a week if you’re near it.
Put your bare feet on the earth every day.
Yoga
Healthy plant based diet since I was 16.
Berkey filtered water
Homemade skin tonic and oil
Coconut oil for skin and teeth every morning after a cup of water with a half lemon squeezed in
A glass of water with 2 T apple cider vinegar (raw) every day
Surrounding myself with young energy
Regular massage and a natural chiropractor who espoused everything here
Coffee enemas…yup…(organic and cooled please)
I am not religious about these habits when I travel or have other things going on but they are my normal routine at home.
Viewing stress positively as a fire to move things forward and liv at full potential
Learning to humbly acknowledge mistakes and failings and move forward
Being open to exploration including travel to experience a different perspective
And that’s my story. 🤗✨😘
And I added two more recently…dry brushing and tongue scraping. Minutes per day. From the Ayurvedic tradition. We’ll see….
Hope you can incorporate and find useful as well! 🙏🙏🙏✨✨✨
Timeshare Part II 🏖️🗺️🏨
I wrote some time ago about what our timeshare (vacation points at Holiday Inn) has meant to my family. Would I do it again? Probably not. But my family loves it so I’m still happy I did. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to anyone but me.
We are up here again this weekend for a quick two nights. The fact that my two highs schoolers chose to come here with their family rather than stay home and attend homecoming (I didn’t know the dates would overlap when I reserved before school began)!
But I thought I’d give you a glimpse into the dreaded “owners updates” meetings I attend each time we’re here. They are supposed to be only one hour but always go over. It is an hour and a half of pressure to buy more points, the attempt to convince you you have not yet obtained vacation Shangri la and will only do so if you spend thousands of dollars more to achieve a higher status that alone will open the door to more luxurious accommodations around the world. It is a true battle of the wills.
Why attend? For the “free” fun passes and resort credit of course! a savings of about $400. See? You’d probably do it too.
Attached is a picture of where we all wait for our meeting. Questions about where my husband is always have to be endured even though they can clearly see I am the sole owner.
Also attached is a picture of the secret notes from the meeting which they never let you take with you. These are scribbled every time as they ask about your travel goals and make a big deal about how you can achieve them all for $219 per week if you just follow this very clear plan. Which never makes any sense unless you are a retired person with nothing else going on in your life other than plan and take vacations.
Anyway I made it out without spending a dime but it took some boldness to stand up to my agent who told me I was being rude when I let her know politely when the hour came to an end. And then the kids and I all had a nice relaxing day at the pool enjoying perfect weather and mini golf, lazy river and our resort credit at dinner! 👍✅
On Meat
I have been a mostly vegetarian for the past 34 years of my now 50 years. I do occasionally consume fish or seafood. I do eat dairy and eggs (though in the beginning I didn’t).
I had a friend who gave me a lot of frozen Costco meat for my five kids because he stopped eating red meat. I cooked some of the steaks, some on a skillet, some on the grill, painstakingly following various recipes I researched. My kids were mostly impressed though I cooked one a bit too long. I am paranoid about undercooking meat, including fish. My 80 year old dad was visiting at one point and he is very practical. He said he never worries about steak being undercooked in the middle but ground beef can be a different story. Can it ever…
Tonight I cooked ground beef for the first time. I thought it was steak when I took it out of the freezer in the morning. Everything looks the same wrapped and frozen. But it was taco Tuesday so this was good timing. I had never cooked ground beef. I looked up a recipe for taco meat. I placed he thawed meat into a pan, heated it and it began to ooze blood and the day began to congeal. I was quite disgusted. I covered the pan and let it cook some more on a lower heat. Meanwhile I prepared our standby “veggie crumbles” that has been our taco go to since my kids were babes. I added seasoning to both (the veggie ones come a bit pre seasoned). And stirred. Breaking up the meat felt like I was chopping fingers. It was kind of hard in texture. This grossed me out further.
Suffice to say, some of my boys tried it but it reinforces my vegetarian nature. I honestly don’t know how anyone can eat that. Most of my kids gravitated toward the veggie variety. Let’s just say there was a lot of meat to throw out at the end of the taco Tuesday event. Next time I’ll be buying a double portion of “veggie crumble.”
On Energy ☀️💨⛽️
I have three comments on the current hyperactivity on moving toward different energy sources.
1. We should wait until we have actual reasonable workable alternatives.
2. We need to remember that all energy has a source…electricity to power electric cars still must be sourced from other energy.
3. It is immoral to require people to require other people to curtail their lifestyle in order to rectify an amorphous issue.
Encouragement for Those Considering Divorce 🙏✨
I have a friend considering divorce. When she shared about her experience it takes me back to that tortuous period of the end of my marriage. The lead in the belly feeling of walking into the marital home, the feeling that dissonance could break out from its latent state into a full fledged conflict at any moment, the bending to fit, the sacrifice, the losing of self. And always at the very top of the list how to protect my children and see them least hurt. It is a fact. Divorce hurts kids. But maybe ongoing, high conflict at home also hurts kids. How could it not? Not learning to share feelings in an appropriate way, not seeing conflict resolved in a healthy way…these things definitely hurt kids.
Once I decided it would be better for my kids if their father and I parented them from separate homes, my life begin a very different course. Today I want to speak to how I felt in that moment. I was so ready to be free that I seriously considered the fact that I might be destitute, might end up in a women’s shelter with my kids, might have to go on welfare. I was ready to leave nonetheless. None of these things happened. In fact, looking back, I realize now how odd those considerations were given the fact that I am a lawyer (though I was living in a state where I was not yet licensed) and have resources such as a father and church, etc. I think that those thoughts were born out of that environment where I had come to feel I did not have much power over my life or hope for a future. What a lie. The Bible tells us: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
But I am glad I considered these drastic possibilities because it made me realize how ready I was to leave and be on my own.
I had never lived on my own before outside of my law school dorm room. I went from my parents’ care to my husband’s. Yes, I had a job. I worked as a lawyer for 6 years before staying home with my first baby and my other children over the next 10 years. But I had never felt the sole responsibility of caring for myself let alone a family, qualifying for and paying a mortgage, maintaining home and vehicle, keeping everything running and afloat in addition to what I was well accustomed to, getting my children where they needed to go and caring for their daily needs.
It has been a journey, taking a Bar exam 20 years after my first Bar exam, starting my own law firm business, purchasing my own home, showing my kids an example of living at potential, expecting success, making what we need to live by serving others.
Now I still have a ways to go in terms of the financial aspect of life. My vision of am abundant universe which is so different from the views with which I grew up and lived under in it marriage drive my accountant and bookkeeper crazy.
But I have to say the thrill of being the person my kids come to for their needs and wants not just emotionally or guidance wise but materially (and their are many given they are now teenagers!) is something I would never have experienced. It is such an honor and privilege, and I might add ego boost, to be the provider for a family. It keeps you on your game, drives you forward with great purpose.
Looking back, life today is very different. And I hope when my kids look back they understand.
Notes From Real Life 