And I wrote it all down. I didn’t stop to think about whether it fit together. I pulled up all the corners of my life and included everything. The parts people had told me I should write. And all the parts no one knew before. I wrote it all down.
This morning we watched videos of our life when all my kids were little. It was impromptu. My daughter asked to go through these. We laughed. And felt. It was very poignant. And it confirmed to me I was there for each moment. And it depicted their father at times, sour, sour, ugly. The quintessential party pooper. And I asked them to note how all the videos of us laughing, being silly, goofing around were taken before 5:00, the time when the rain cloud I was married to returned home from whatever it was he called work at that time. I loved seeing my beautiful babies. Each one with so much individual personality and altogether a perfect masterpiece of family .
My mom was in the videos as well as my sister. So much loss. Four from my immediate family gone since those videos from within 10 years ago. With thanksgiving coming and now just a few days past my mom’s birthday, I think about all those big thanksgivings I hosted in my Denver home, my family and friends from near and far. My parents would come even before my mom moved to Denver. My mom who loved to cook and bake would be planning our menu for months. I could count on her to make all of our baked goods and every one, cakes, cookies, pies, rolls, would be a hit with all our guests. She was very beloved for her creations.
We also had family friends from my childhood who would come up from Texas. That lady is gone now too. But we had so many memories. My life is very different now, my three surging children, teens now, splitting their time between my house and their dad’s. This year they’ll be with him thanksgiving day and Christmas Eve and I am left with my memories of my life when my children were little, their joy, love, wonder, innocence, delight.
Notes From Real Life 