When you lose someone the loss can be accentuated on the holidays. Today it is Halloween. In the morning I was at the middle school where I have volunteered for 10 years. It was the first school my oldest son entered after being homeschooled through elementary. I wanted to keep a casual eye so I started volunteering and I have never left. Mostly I have served on the PTO board. This is my last year. So it is bittersweet and I am trying to give it my all. Last weekend I manned the haunted house dressed as a witch. Today I was “selling” my wares from our positive behavior cart where the kids can buy cute little erasers, pencils, and of course football themed pencil toppers. I love to observe the kids. But whenever I am at the school my boys’ ghosts are there as well. I feel their memory and presence.
I have also been reflecting on a halloween two years past when my second son and I watched a movie. My youngest went trick or treating with friends. My oldest was with his girlfriend. It became dark and I was concerned about my youngest and then in she walked along with my oldest and his girlfriend. It was a relief but also confusing because I thought they had brought her home but actually it was just coincidence. This girlfriend of my son’s who we all adored. She got him to do things he would never do such as dress in costume for Halloween. He did like to wear scary shirts like his Freddy Kreuger one but he hadn’t dressed in an actual costume in years. And here he was dressed as Winnie the Poo with his girlfriend Tigger. So cute. So surprising. So bittersweet to recall now that he is gone 20 months.
Notes From Real Life 